Feminism is about equality.. or is it?

Hello peoples! Hope you are enjoying the heat in that end of the world as I shiver on grey days in this end of the world. But I'm happy - I had a great birthday. And I know me as I am today, ready to journey on the paths to find inner balance, alone, and choosing to be so.

Anyway, why I write this today is after reading this wonderfully worded article about feminism, again a reaction to statements made by mainstream Bollywood actresses. But my dear author, you disappoint me deeply with your words.

Just let me be clear. According to the Oxford dictionary, feminism means the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes and this means that the movement of feminism was brought about to help women, so that there would be equality in society and let us be very clear that this movement focused on the much needed uplifting of women in society. As a young woman of the 21st century I have many people to be grateful to and much to thank all those people, who turned the world so that women like me could be where we are today.

I don't know how feminism is perceived in the rest of the world, because places I have been to outside of India are far ahead of us in dealing with gender related discrimination. Do we need feminism in India? Yes, we do. Badly. But in a nation where corruption and lying is second nature, how can we truly trust even women, where we have had more than one instance of women lying and deceiving the rest of the world about what truly happened. Be it men who commit suicide when women threaten to complain about dowry or the famous eve teaser picture upload where the woman allegedly exaggerated in her complaint about what really happened.

It's not about the word feminism. No, not really. It's the fright of being associated with a negative term, which we, women, have exploited and misused to get away with a lot of shameful things. Those famous lines ek aurat hi aurat ka dard samajh sakti hai (only another woman can understand a woman's pain) holds true lesser and lesser with each passing day for me. I also admit that in comparison with the crimes against women by men, the numbers are definitely much lower, although growing steadily. How are we the "fairer" sex and the "better" halves then?

It doesn't matter to me if Parineeti said she doesn't want to be a feminist. But if by being a role model she encourages such movements and indeed inspires women, I'd rather take that than someone who claims to be a feminist and all she does is believe any woman without verifying facts.
I personally use the term equalism, and I always explain why I use it. Women need opportunities, but not equal opportunities. There are many things can do just as well as men, no doubt. But family and children will always be the first priority for many women. So not all women can do the typical 9-5 jobs all their employable lives.

I believe that women should be provided with opportunities such that they progress equally in society. Give them the chance to use their talents and skills more flexibly, allowing them to be just as financially independent as men. Instead of encouraging "boys will be boys", let the girls believe that there is more to their future than getting a job for a degree and preparing themselves to be 'suitable' for men, there is more than having to give up on your jobs, dreams and careers simply because you want nature to take its course to have a family.

Can we, as a society, work on these thoughts? Can we make more opportunities, more appropriate opportunities, different opportunities for women? Where women do not have to fight tooth and nail to make it to the top among men with brighter chances, but have healthy competition amongst each other because they know there are more women in their field, who could finally understand each other?

I think this was what feminism wanted to achieve in the first place.

"Happy Women's Day?"

Today is International Women's Day. A day, when all the women are made to feel important and proud of their existence. A day, when they are told of the difference they make to our lives. How, we are eternally grateful for their existence. How much, we love them.

Yet, I open my facebook news feed today to see a response video of a young woman to the controversial documentary titled "India's Daughter", published by BBC Storyville which has been banned in India. I saw the documentary too. I could not help the tears that streamed down my face, time and again, as I acknowledged very painfully for the first time - that could have been me. Those could have been my parents shedding tears over the death of their young, educated daughter. I could have been that girl accused of crossing boundaries, simply because I wore jeans instead of a saree (which, btw, exposes more of my skin than jeans with a T-shirt would) or chose to attend a concert, which unfortunately for me almost always takes place after 8pm (and not even beginning on time, in most cases).

Why should I feel proud that I am a woman from India? Just because I was fortunate to be born to well educated parents, who encouraged me to be the best I could be, resulting in me writing this post in a country far far away? How many women can claim to share a fate even half as fortunate as mine? A large number in the urban areas maybe, but compared to the entire population of India, a measly number I would say. Anytime in a discussion, when the faults of the country are compared to those doing better, we immediately say, "but oh! They do not have our culture, our values, our love towards family, our ancient heritage" and so on. I say, throw this pretense of culture down the drain. We really are an uncultured lot. 

Be it the socially regressive customs which show that men are superior women are inferior or our treatment of the old. Everyone wants to click pictures with white people, everyone wants a fair bride to be married into the family. At the same time, a dark match is judged  badly by all and black Afro-American, African and everyone who isn't white, brown or from the far east is feared and disliked. Be it spitting and littering on the streets or the driving culture on the roads, these are examples of our indifference towards the existence of other people. Let us not even get into corruption - of the big bad political figures or its existence in your and my minds. 

They say that Indians are of a very tolerant nature. How sad that we have tolerated foreign invaders since nearly an entire millennium, but have called for 6 bans in half a week because we are "offended". To me, it looks like a descent down the hill, where instead of progressing into the 21st century, we are really going back to the 14th century. But there's still hope. There is no ban on pretending everything's okay and celebrating this day!

Having said all of the above, I am grateful to whoever it was who decided to celebrate this day. Being a citizen of a country where I have had to watch every single step I take outside my house, it is very nice to be appreciated. Every single woman in my life is symbolic of something amazing and their love and support always keeps me going and reminds me, there is still hope!

To me, feminism isn't about being better than men. Feminism isn't even declaring that men and women are equal. Feminism is a movement to ensure that in societies like ours, both men and women have equal opportunities to flourish in whatever aspects of life they excel at, so that we can harmoniously live together to improve our economy, our environment and reduce our chances of losing humanity. This is feminism I support.

I don't know if things will be different tomorrow. I don't think it's easy to change the mindset of so many people. But one step at a time, I surely do hope we shed our notions of "ancient culture" and look towards creating a new, richer one.

PS: I am of the opinion that Men's day must be celebrated just as much as women's day. Certain douchebags in society cannot replace the wonderful men who do so much for me in my life.

PPS: Tried my best to summarize the thoughts churning in my head since a few days. 

PPPS: If anyone is "offended", this would technically not be written in India anyway. Go do something better with your lives.