Illusioned

That night, I saw a dream.

It pierced my soul like a shrill scream.

I was jerked awake to see the reality,

By the rivers that flowed from my eyes.

It had all started beautifully.

It had all started still.

As I had enjoyed peace and love.

I found myself back home then,

As someone seemed to call.

An old lady she was.

I want to come in, she said.

But each time I tried to let her in,

She seemed to disappear.

A triumph it was for her,

When she entered through the window.

She smiled sweetly at me,

Which instilled in me a fear unknown.

She walked toward me.

I was hysterical now.

I searched around, a blade I got.

In case, I thought to myself, I needed a weapon.

She was now almost touching me,

Her eyes full of evil mirth.

Trembling, I stabbed her thrice.

Expecting her to fall,

I prepared myself to face a lifeless body.

Yet she stood standing there,

Eyes full of that mirth.

I staggered, I ran.

I called out to people, but the world seemed empty.

Until I saw the ghost of my forefather,

Who had come to protect me from this evil unspoken.

He was sacrificing his soul, to save mine.

My eyes opened, as I was breathing heavily.

An illusion all this was, it seemed.

A game a child was playing far away, unaware,

Who had created an image, a shadow of mine, weary with time.

But as I looked back and recalled that haunting smile,

The rivers continued to flow.

(I don't know if this counts as poetry. I don't think it is.

I wrote this at 4.30am as I couldn't sleep!)

The Return to Innocence

Ah, the age old dilemma. "What should I write about today?"

Let's begin with one of the crazy adventures I have in my life - me.

Being in my head for 15 minutes is equivalent to being in a mental amusement park, with all those freaky rides, for a full day! Plus, a project day (yes, I'm in my final year now! *proud*) sitting in front of a PCB, waiting for Copper to come off the board is equivalent to the scariest roller coaster around, within my head, that is.

Of course, when things do not go as expected, it's like lighting a match near a curtain and have the whole house burning.

So, to calm my livid self down, I decided to take a long walk, without my earphones!

And how I felt after that?

Amazing! I went to this park, that had a playground and a walking track. Deeply absorbed in my thoughts, I was brought back to reality by three little girls wearing those shoes. The ones that make sounds as they walk? They looked so excited to be there! To sit on the swing, enviously looking at the older kids climbing on the slides by themselves.

There was a group of elderly gentlemen, sitting, talking and laughing. From what bits I caught, I think they were very spiritual people. In the midst of nature, discussing their lives, meeting friends, they looked so happy.

Of course, we had very distressed looking housewives furiously walking along the track, body builders pushing people around so they could jog, teenage boys doing funny antics on the grass to catch girls' attention. All of it was so entertaining! It was only as I sat down after a long time, sat for a long time, pushed myself to finally get up from there (I felt so much at peace, I never wanted to leave!) and walked home, I realised what I felt.

We in our fast paced lives, have lost our innocence.

Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to say we all behave like a five year old would. I mean to imply that we have lost the innocence in our approach to life. As kids, we wouldn't worry about what was right, what was the correct way for something to be done. We would go ahead, and do what we felt was right. Surely, as grown-ups, we can apply the same principles, and yet have a fresh approach to all that seems problematic to us?

I do not promise, that I can always take this approach. That I will not worry, I will not over-stress, I will be indifferent. I promise none of these.

Yet, someday, if I look back at life and see this moment, it might just help me calm down or help the situation then.

Anyway, this post, these feelings lead to this playing in my head right now. Enjoy away! :)

Return to Innocence - Enigma