Dilemma

'Woo hoo!'

'Well done, captain!'

'We'll win this time, yet again!'

Liam grinned at his team, as everybody left the changing room. He made sure everything was locked, and thought back on today's progress. They had discussed a new strategy for the next big game, and that made everybody extremely confident.

He walked back alone to the field, thinking about his life, and how perfectly everything seemed to have turned out to be. He was basketball captain, above the average jock at academics and was all set to go to a brilliant university ahead. Also, the most gorgeous girl he knew loved him so much. Life did not get this 'happening' for anybody he knew. He smiled to himself.

He walked past Julia, who seemed to be reading yet again. Out of curiosity, he saw the title of the book she was reading. 'A Collection – TS Elliot'. He stopped in his tracks, and felt his heart ache. He suddenly remembered how badly he had wanted to be a poet some time before. How the words had created a mystical universe, where he could be himself and let his emotions flow as words.

'Too late', he thought to himself.

He realised he had stopped walking and quickly looked at Julia. But she seemed not to notice him, so intensely was she caught up in the poetry. He began walking toward the field, his heart now a little clouded by his hidden passion for poetry.

As soon as he arrived on the field, a soft hand intertwined in his. He looked around to see the familiar, sparkling brown eyes ask him if everything was all right. He felt the clouds slowly fade away in his mind, when he looked at the most beautiful girl he knew, his Pearl. He took her in his arms, and held her close and let her go when he could no longer sense the clouds.

He looked at her again, and kissed her soft mouth and felt all his love for her. He saw the smile that lit up her beautiful face. He felt her delicate figure, her soft skin as she nuzzled into his shoulder, and felt warm. He felt better. Definitely much better. She looked tired though.

'All is well, miss President?', he asked her.

She laughed at the words, and replied saying, 'Yes, it is. A new student is to be introduced at the Student Body meet today. You will be coming, right?'

'Yes, of course. Anything to look at you in action, on the stage', he said.

'And in action otherwise?', she winked.

He blanked for a second. He should have seen that coming. He had to be more careful if he wanted to avoid uncomfortable situations like these. He did have his excuse ready today, though. 'Work first, baby. See you in the evening.' He then shot toward the courts, very much in time the look of longing on her face, and the flying kiss she blew him again.

The assembly hall was crowded today. Not that anybody really cared for a new student. This just seemed like a great place to catch up with pals after a long day. He certainly was not complaining. The practice exhausted him, and he needed his share of peace. He looked on the stage, to see Pearl giving instructions. He never felt so comfortable with anybody. She was always there for him. He was the happiest to have her in his life.

At the end of the meet, Pearl picked up her microphone and announced into it, 'We have a new Student Body member with us. Everybody please welcome, Ian Miller'.

Suddenly, the otherwise chatting students seemed to have an outburst, and everybody seemed to have something to say.
Liam woke up from his drowsiness, just in time, to hear snatches of conversation.

'His ex was a musician it seems.'

'Wonder how he plans to survive at our school!'

'Filthy fagot, had to come here of all places!'

Liam shifted uncomfortably. He wanted to go away from here. Suddenly, the Hall did not seem that great. He was just contemplating if he should leave, when Ian came on to the stage.The noise died away almost instantly, and necks craned to see the new attraction in the school. Ian seemed confident, and sure of himself. His eyes scanned the room once, and they stopped for a moment as they caught Liam's. Liam looked down uncomfortably, and did not look up until he was sure there was no Ian on the stage.

He did not realise, until a few days later, that the breath he had held was let out at that moment of eye contact, and his heart had beaten faster than ever before.

A month had passed since that day. Liam could not get the image of Ian out of his mind. He thought of Ian as handsome, stunning even. Ian carried himself with such confidence, such strength, that most people had gotten over his sexuality and warmed upto him. Liam was somebody not included in that group. He was uncomfortable, and he could not stand being around Ian. Pearl wasn't helping either, she kept getting Ian along with her.

Liam as usual waited at the end of school, to wait for Pearl. Today seemed to be an unusually beautiful sunset. The setting sun cast a saffron color on everybody and everything. The school building, archaic and of heritage, stood out beautifully.

He watched it as Pearl walked out of the building, looking as beautiful as ever. What Liam was not prepared for was how he felt when he looked at Ian. He could contain it no longer.

He felt overwhelmed, he had never seen anything so beautiful! The sunlight fell on his brown hair, his brown eyes, on that beautifully proportioned body. He had felt that Pearl was beautiful, but nothing that sent his heart out on this wild a chase. Nothing had ever been so alluring, so tempting.

These thoughts crossed his head, and he knew that the battle was lost. He could contain his heart no longer. He waved out a goodbye to Ian, took Pearl home.

The first thing he did when he came up to his room was to take a book, a pencil and write down his thoughts, something he had avoided for over an year.

His thoughts read thus.

The manificence of the rays of the sun's light, fell on his beautiful face

How entrancing, that the the light turned every brown lock of that thick hair golden

Oh, the joy in those eyes, to see the world thus lit

But my own would look and continue to look at them.

He stood near me, talking to another

Whilst my mind urged me to capture his interest

That graceful walk, like a deadly, yet hypnotising panther

That fascinating smile, that contained the know of more than the show.

Then he turned to me, and my heart missed a beat

He walked toward me. He spoke to me.

What he said, was lost on me, as I marvelled at his voice

Yet again, I could only look, and be fascinated by a creature so unearthly, so ethereal.

'Tomorrow then', fell on my ear, I was jolted back to reality.

A shock ran through my body as his hand innocently brushed past mine.

He smiled once more. My world was on fire, like a shooting star on a lonely night.

He went away, and I was left alone – breathless and speechless, unable to accept tomorrow was a night away.

He was about to retire to bed, when he noticed a text message on his cell phone. It said, 'I know how you feel. We all go through this. Don't worry, I'll be there for you.'

He could tell from the tone of the text who it was. So, Ian realised it too.

What was Liam going to do? Continue the fallacy with Pearl, and keep her unhappy? Or admit to the world, that he, Liam the star of high school, was really gay.

'Oh my god. What am I going to do now?', were his last thoughts as his exhausted body fell into a restless sleep, tired after a long day.

Lost

(Thanks to my friend Justin, I felt very inspired to write something dark. The mood seemed right for this.

A feeble attempt. Comments welcome, but be kind. :) )

The evening was on fire, as was my heart

In the crowd, alone I was

How I longed, for somebody to see

To know that I existed, to know me.

Like knives the loneliness pierces me

Like hot wires pressed to to every inch of skin

The burning a drug to the pain

That seeps through, making me insane

A thought, a gesture, a feeling expressed

Would perhaps make things a little better

But to be loved, as so many people are

Seems not in my destiny now,

At least, hopefully, a thing away far.

Aise Hi. :)

I was going through a friend's blog the other day, when, suddenly, I remembered I had a blog of my own. So, since then, I was itching to update it and here I am!

I'm currently on a study leave (We all know how well that's going. :D). Since I don't frequent college, I haven't really been in touch with my college friends (and of course, they are studying. :P ).

In the meanwhile, I've got back in touch with a couple of old friends and 'networked' with new ones. I realised somethings at this point.

We all are, ultimately, human. People have their sad and happy moments. I guess, they are all looking for somebody who will listen and respond to their emotions with respect and affection. I can safely say I have experienced the Yin and the Yang. It gives me an amazing feeling when I think of how many people there are, who genuinely love and care for each other. I can say that is the best thing about Human civilization.

But oh, I drift away!

My point is, at times, there are little things that somebody can say or do for you, that it could make your day instantaneously. That is the beauty of friendship, virtual or real. :)

It could be a 'Hey, you look cool today!' or a 'Hey, cool dp!'. A real hug is replaced by a virtual smiley. Sarcasm has more to do with the ':P' than the straight poker face.

Though nothing can really compete with a friendly smile or a warm hug of a friend, to the mind, sometimes the gesture is enough. :)

Riverside

I hear the gentle splashing of the water,

A sound that soothes the ear.

I see the blue reflected in the water,

Its beauty so crystalline and clear.

I smell the water, how peculiar that is,

A smell nowhere but here.

I fell the little droplets, splash on my skin.

Each little diamond, sparkling like a tear.

I taste the water which I bend down to drink,

Which spreads in me, an inexplicable cheer!

With a calm mind I sit here,

My five senses heightened.

Something good may be on the way...

But oh! Do I trust the sixth one?

Entertainment is now a pain.

As an average person, who doesnt have a lot of access to extra-curricular reading and doing engineering, the advance in science and technology should have proved to be a boon in order to overcome the excessive boredom. but honestly for me, other than the progress in music technology (\m/), the other stuff is pretty much what I'd go for if I cant find something to strangle myself with.

The television. What an invention...! Originally, the idea of an object like that had good purposes : spread awareness, educate and help in communication. Today, I'm proud to say, it has achieved its objectives. I am completely aware of what goes on in Rakhee Sawant's life. I am educated daily about moral values by the television shows which show women getting abused in unimaginable ways. Of course, communication takes place with channels that show teleshopping (24x7!) where I can see really fake people speak utter rubbish and con me. The inventors of the television must have got transferred from heaven to hell for the same deed. Poor chaps.

The Internet. The world has become a global village, and truly, the population behaves like its rural counterpart. The internet is a fantastic source of communication and its indeed our fortune that we have it. But things have gone too far for the younger generation. Instead of running out on the streets and well, being kids, they spend their time following 'celebrities' (PC and the bollywood herd), raising fake farms on their windows and having a mafia like setup. All this is done virtually, but honestly, getting 6000 points in farmville will NOT stop a kid from failing his math exam (or any other for that matter).

By my personal opinion, these are the two most common forms of entertainment and they are seeping out our energy, and our brains. So step outside your house people, go plant some real trees, meet some real people, dont loose out on your own family and remember, real people can be fun too!

I miss the music I used to hear!

I recently saw my youtube account again, and finally felt inspired to blog about something.
In the 90s, there was a nice music genre called 'Indipop' that became really popular. This is the equivalent of non-filmy songs, or pop albums in late 90s and early 2000s. To this day, the best music on my ipod belongs to this category. Apart from the fact that the songs were lovely and meaningful (in most cases!!), most of them had some beautiful videos to go with it. Thanks youtube for making me get most of what I wanted!

The most popular artists of back then would be Alisha Chinai, Asha Bhosale,(*hearts*) Silk Route(*sighs*), Adnan Sami, Anamika, Falguni Pathak(oh! oh! oh!), Band of Boys, Bombay Vikings (omg!!), Euphoria(wow!!), Lucky Alil(love him!!), Shweta Shetty, Suneeta Rao, Shaan, Shiamak Davar, Strings, Ustad Sultan Khan, AR Rahman.......

Then there was the remix era with DJ Aqueel, DJ Suketu and Bally Sagoo along with others who refreshed and brought the youngsters the precious old music such that they would love and understand it and relate to it only the way that generation could!

Where have they gone? When did they disappear? I mostly keep listening to the same music if I'm listening to Hindi. I dont even know if I have any recent music on my playlist! I am, at the very least, thankful to all the artists of then to have made such nice music. People like me, who grew up watching the sweet videos and listening to the melodies will always cherish them, and I hope that soon you guys will be back to with all that your fans wanna hear!


My favorite songs, videos and more analysis on Indipop will follow soon. Be there to go through them :)

I can comment on authors, I pay to buy their books!

After another long gap, I thought I'll put up something here so you can kill time waiting for someone familiar to show up so you can chat with them. You could thank a college festival and Anne Rice for the delay. The fest was fantastic,with me and my chums having a blast all the time along, with a lot of hard work put in. On my fest, another time..

Here I am, to criticize a novel I am yet to finish reading. Now, I am not being judgmental. My focus now is going to be on the writing style. The book in question is The Witching Hour by Anne Rice. I had tried reading another one of her works, the Vampire Lestat, before this. And an honest confession, its one of the few books which I have put down without completely reading. I found it very long, dragging and dull. But since I haven't read it properly, not making comments on it.

The Witching Hour started off on a similar note. With four stories running parallel to one another, in the first four chapters itself, I was left dazed and confused as to what was going on. And thanks to my lately developed patience, I did manage to read further than that. The strategy is good, but its dragging and confusing to someone who isn't used to the style. So back to the book, I continued on and on. By open windows during the day and the bright fluorescent white light at night, I managed to get over my confusion and discovered the underlying brilliant plot. My opinion here is, one could easily just cast the books aside, and never reach the point where it gets interesting.

Secondly, her characters are all very complex. And Rice's way of explaining her characters is by going deep into their history, veryrich in details, many irrelevant to the plot. This makes it wearisome for the reader. It thus becomes like a poor man, out of desperation, continuously removing muck from a hug pile, for a copper coin hidden somewhere. Is it worth it?

Lastly, her characters seem to be very passionate. Her language brings in a lot of sensuality to the story. The words are captivating and give pleasure when one reads them. And in this context, unless one is completely immune to the attraction these hold, its easy to get swept away by the charisma of the silky words. This, I presume, is what keeps the readers hooked on to the plot. My complaint is, that if the steamy scenes were to be removed, the book might be a little more than half its current size. Also, I found it unnecessary, the highlights on the physical passion of the characters. It forms a source of distraction against the main plot.

And with around a few of chapters left, I can even predict the end, which isn't good for an author whose climax is a suspense, is it?

All in all, I give her writing a 2.5/5, for the creative plot and brilliant imagination. Ratings are cut down because of lengthy details and unnecessary physical descriptions.