Romantic Comedies are Anti-Feminist

If you're a woman, you've probably spent your childhood knowing that one day you will get married to the man who will bring "happiness" to you. So you spend your formative years having learnt everything that one day the ideal bahu could bring to the household. You learn singing, dancing, painting, sewing, knitting, cooking, your education and even writing in all the languages you can speak in (you know, in case you have to write a letter to your mother in law someday) are in preparation of impressing the boys who will send you marriage proposals someday. And yet, you will spend all your life wondering if you'll ever be good enough for him and them.

I was raised with a younger sister, so we didn't really have the concept of preparing to just be the good wife. In fact, my mother is an excellent icon of how some women seem to manage it all. I was encouraged to build a career, study a degree "traditionally" male dominated and succeed with flying colors in a male dominated profession. Yet, as I near the big three-O, the only concern I have "left" for my friends and family, is that I am still single (time is running out sweetheart, you'll regret wasting your years).

As I grew up, I always imagined what my husband would be like and how he would be a certain way or say certain things. Case in point quoting snippets from a famous Bollywood song:

"Mujhse kare woh aake, pyaari pyaari baatein.
Chehre ko chaand kehde, zulfon ko raatein.

Banaras agar jaaye, saari leke hi aaye.
Pooche Dilli se hai, kya mangvaana.

Thoda sa pagla, thoda sayana."
- Thoda sa Pagla, Aur Pyaar Ho Gaya (1996)

Since he had to be all that, I certainly did not fall for every other guy I met. No sir/ma'am. I have very high standards. My criteria are clear - intelligence and a way with words play the biggest role for me. Followed of course by "a person of good character" from "the right family" (so we can ensure that our gene pool is preserved for another generation). You can tell which of those thoughts are my own. And one day, it happened. 

I met a boy. He seemed to fit it all. Just the thought of him gave me sleepless nights. But being young and naive, it was a deep attraction that lasted until a few days after we met, but it wasn't meant to be. I was convinced though that dream men exist, because of the numerous romantic comedies I was being fed and got addicted to. There was my proof! Ideal men exist. And I am as nice and sincere as the pretty girl next door female lead. If it could happen to her, it could happen to me, right (did you read that post about how she met her husband? That's soooo romantic!)???. Ah, the fantasy world of cinema, literature and social media.

Well, I`m still waiting. And I still will be.

Since then, I met some more boys, whom I fell for for one or the other reason. With some, it was meant to be while it lasted. With others, it wasn't meant to be at all (you are certainly overqualified for the Indian arranged marriage market). My experiences and the boys who did stay in my life changed my fundamental perception of both myself and my view of real relationships.

These romantic comedies are dangerous, because they prey on this very mentality that finding a man and being with him is the ultimate goal of our life. An average rom-com shows the woman as partly naive and vulnerable, the damsel in distress, who seems to actually have a lot going for her (what's the point of having a great career, personality, hobbies, etc. if you are going to spend the rest of your life alone?). But as soon as a man enters the picture, that's all she seems to eat, breathe and think about. And why not? Because that's exactly what women are taught. Not always directly by the parents, but through larger exposure to society and culture. I am guilty of being that woman myself.

But here's what I wish I had been taught instead:

- Relationships can be beautiful, but they're hard. More often than not, it's not gonna be fluffy clouds and unicorns. 

- Finding a partner is just one aspect of your life. Don't forget yourself, your career and other loved ones if you catch the love bug.

- Finding a man is easier than actually sustaining that relationship for the rest of your life. So spend the time leading up to it loving yourself, getting to know who you are so you can rely on yourself when things get difficult.

- Men are fundamentally different from women, which is both good and bad. As perfect as the man in the rom-com seemed to be, that much of emotional quotient is rare in men, a biological fact, blissfully ignored by writers. 

 - You will not be an exception for the perfect man. You will be the exception for the possibly right men.

- You will always be defined as more than just the girlfriend or the wife, if you yourself acknowledge that you're more than just a girlfriend or the wife.

- Grass is greener on the other side. Just because you envy that girl who looks single and carefree, doesn't mean she is fine by herself. Just as happy selfies on social media aren't a guarantee that someone's relationship is actually healthy.

Feminism is about empowering women, without having to bring the men down. What we need aren't just stories about women finding a man (what happens after they kiss and the movie ends?). We need stories that teach us how to nurture that relationship (you have to first find someone for that). Stories that give us a reality check about how women who seem to have it all miss out on being themselves (being yourself? that's a ridiculous notion). Stories about women being both vulnerable and successful (we women don't have time for watching movies). 

Such stories are not easy to digest right now, absolutely not. Not even for me! But we need to normalize our own stories. And get the other side to hear our side of the tale. So they can see us beyond being damsels in distress. So they will really understand, when it's okay to hold the door open for us and when not.

(All the quotes written like this are things that I've been told in real life.)

Feminism is about equality.. or is it?

Hello peoples! Hope you are enjoying the heat in that end of the world as I shiver on grey days in this end of the world. But I'm happy - I had a great birthday. And I know me as I am today, ready to journey on the paths to find inner balance, alone, and choosing to be so.

Anyway, why I write this today is after reading this wonderfully worded article about feminism, again a reaction to statements made by mainstream Bollywood actresses. But my dear author, you disappoint me deeply with your words.

Just let me be clear. According to the Oxford dictionary, feminism means the advocacy of women’s rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes and this means that the movement of feminism was brought about to help women, so that there would be equality in society and let us be very clear that this movement focused on the much needed uplifting of women in society. As a young woman of the 21st century I have many people to be grateful to and much to thank all those people, who turned the world so that women like me could be where we are today.

I don't know how feminism is perceived in the rest of the world, because places I have been to outside of India are far ahead of us in dealing with gender related discrimination. Do we need feminism in India? Yes, we do. Badly. But in a nation where corruption and lying is second nature, how can we truly trust even women, where we have had more than one instance of women lying and deceiving the rest of the world about what truly happened. Be it men who commit suicide when women threaten to complain about dowry or the famous eve teaser picture upload where the woman allegedly exaggerated in her complaint about what really happened.

It's not about the word feminism. No, not really. It's the fright of being associated with a negative term, which we, women, have exploited and misused to get away with a lot of shameful things. Those famous lines ek aurat hi aurat ka dard samajh sakti hai (only another woman can understand a woman's pain) holds true lesser and lesser with each passing day for me. I also admit that in comparison with the crimes against women by men, the numbers are definitely much lower, although growing steadily. How are we the "fairer" sex and the "better" halves then?

It doesn't matter to me if Parineeti said she doesn't want to be a feminist. But if by being a role model she encourages such movements and indeed inspires women, I'd rather take that than someone who claims to be a feminist and all she does is believe any woman without verifying facts.
I personally use the term equalism, and I always explain why I use it. Women need opportunities, but not equal opportunities. There are many things can do just as well as men, no doubt. But family and children will always be the first priority for many women. So not all women can do the typical 9-5 jobs all their employable lives.

I believe that women should be provided with opportunities such that they progress equally in society. Give them the chance to use their talents and skills more flexibly, allowing them to be just as financially independent as men. Instead of encouraging "boys will be boys", let the girls believe that there is more to their future than getting a job for a degree and preparing themselves to be 'suitable' for men, there is more than having to give up on your jobs, dreams and careers simply because you want nature to take its course to have a family.

Can we, as a society, work on these thoughts? Can we make more opportunities, more appropriate opportunities, different opportunities for women? Where women do not have to fight tooth and nail to make it to the top among men with brighter chances, but have healthy competition amongst each other because they know there are more women in their field, who could finally understand each other?

I think this was what feminism wanted to achieve in the first place.

"Happy Women's Day?"

Today is International Women's Day. A day, when all the women are made to feel important and proud of their existence. A day, when they are told of the difference they make to our lives. How, we are eternally grateful for their existence. How much, we love them.

Yet, I open my facebook news feed today to see a response video of a young woman to the controversial documentary titled "India's Daughter", published by BBC Storyville which has been banned in India. I saw the documentary too. I could not help the tears that streamed down my face, time and again, as I acknowledged very painfully for the first time - that could have been me. Those could have been my parents shedding tears over the death of their young, educated daughter. I could have been that girl accused of crossing boundaries, simply because I wore jeans instead of a saree (which, btw, exposes more of my skin than jeans with a T-shirt would) or chose to attend a concert, which unfortunately for me almost always takes place after 8pm (and not even beginning on time, in most cases).

Why should I feel proud that I am a woman from India? Just because I was fortunate to be born to well educated parents, who encouraged me to be the best I could be, resulting in me writing this post in a country far far away? How many women can claim to share a fate even half as fortunate as mine? A large number in the urban areas maybe, but compared to the entire population of India, a measly number I would say. Anytime in a discussion, when the faults of the country are compared to those doing better, we immediately say, "but oh! They do not have our culture, our values, our love towards family, our ancient heritage" and so on. I say, throw this pretense of culture down the drain. We really are an uncultured lot. 

Be it the socially regressive customs which show that men are superior women are inferior or our treatment of the old. Everyone wants to click pictures with white people, everyone wants a fair bride to be married into the family. At the same time, a dark match is judged  badly by all and black Afro-American, African and everyone who isn't white, brown or from the far east is feared and disliked. Be it spitting and littering on the streets or the driving culture on the roads, these are examples of our indifference towards the existence of other people. Let us not even get into corruption - of the big bad political figures or its existence in your and my minds. 

They say that Indians are of a very tolerant nature. How sad that we have tolerated foreign invaders since nearly an entire millennium, but have called for 6 bans in half a week because we are "offended". To me, it looks like a descent down the hill, where instead of progressing into the 21st century, we are really going back to the 14th century. But there's still hope. There is no ban on pretending everything's okay and celebrating this day!

Having said all of the above, I am grateful to whoever it was who decided to celebrate this day. Being a citizen of a country where I have had to watch every single step I take outside my house, it is very nice to be appreciated. Every single woman in my life is symbolic of something amazing and their love and support always keeps me going and reminds me, there is still hope!

To me, feminism isn't about being better than men. Feminism isn't even declaring that men and women are equal. Feminism is a movement to ensure that in societies like ours, both men and women have equal opportunities to flourish in whatever aspects of life they excel at, so that we can harmoniously live together to improve our economy, our environment and reduce our chances of losing humanity. This is feminism I support.

I don't know if things will be different tomorrow. I don't think it's easy to change the mindset of so many people. But one step at a time, I surely do hope we shed our notions of "ancient culture" and look towards creating a new, richer one.

PS: I am of the opinion that Men's day must be celebrated just as much as women's day. Certain douchebags in society cannot replace the wonderful men who do so much for me in my life.

PPS: Tried my best to summarize the thoughts churning in my head since a few days. 

PPPS: If anyone is "offended", this would technically not be written in India anyway. Go do something better with your lives.

Main Tenu Samjhawan Ki (Reprise) | Humpty Sharma Ki Dulhania | Varun Dha...

Kaise Tujhe Main Samjhau - Humpty Sharma ki Dulhania (Lyrics)

Main Tenu Samjhawan Ki (Reprise) - Humpty Sharma ki Dulhaniya

Originally sung by: Rahat Fateh Ali Khan

This version by: Siddharth Slathia



Well, since I've moved to Germany, the few "new" songs my other Indian friends play here are, to say the least, not to my taste. Hence, I was pleasantly surprised to come across this song. When I heard it for a while, it somehow brought out a lot of sorrow from my own heart (this version, more so). Not necessarily a good thing, but I'm amazed at the effect this song had on me.

This is a beautiful track in Punjabi, but my Bombay heart loves the Hindi version more. Simple and beautiful. Since I couldn't find lyrics online for this version, I thought I'll share them here. You can check out this version on YouTube too!

Kaise tujhe main samjhau,

Tere bina na jee paau,

Tune na jaana pyaar mera

Karoo main intezaar tera

Tu dil, tu hi jaan meri



Mere dil mein, rehke mere

Dil ka dard na jaane

Tere bin hum, tanha reh gaye

Rote nain hamare

Jeena mera haaye

Marna mera saath tere tha

Kar aitbaar mera,

Main karoo intezaar mera

Tu dil, tu hi jaan meri



Sooni sooni, dil ki galiyan

Sooni meri baahein

Aaja meri jaan, kehti rehti

Har pal meri yeh saansein

Tere bina haaye

Kaise karoon door udaasi

Dil beqaraar mera

Main karoon intezaar tera

Tu dil, tu hi jaan meri



I hope you liked it! :)

There are some things you crave for all your life, and sometimes, when you finally have them, they seem to disappoint; if only at times. All the wonderful threads weaving dreams but making us forget the little flaws, those little imperfections which are a law of nature, which also, unknowingly, unwantingly, weave themselves between these strands of almost perfection.

Every one says they want to go abroad, study abroad, work abroad, fulfill dreams otherwise restricted by their own culture, experience another culture, life their life growing away from loved ones, learn the hard lessons in life... I know, because I've said these words myself. And, with all the good luck that the Universe has bestowed on me, I got the opportunity to live my dream.

But you know what they don't tell you? How difficult it is going to be. You have to look out for yourself. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to deal with all these other people who don't understand your ways. You have to deal with a very "real world", the big bad-ass world we've been warned about since we were too young to know what the world could even mean.

You meet new people, you meet lovely, interesting people. People with whom you have so much in common, it's absurd that you weren't born in the same family, forget another country. People you bond with otherwise, because of your circumstances and grow to love and respect them even with all their differences. But yes, you meet people who cheat you, betray you, trick you, use you. I guess, human nature, in that sense, is pretty much consistent all over.

Then why, is it that we connect with some people and choose to ensure that they know we love them and trust them way more than all others? Where you are connected not just by blood, or family ties, or circumstances, but where you choose to seek out these people outside the usual connecting boundaries, to connect in ways which are something more than what we can even begin to describe. I think I have met some wonderful people on the journey of my life - my family and my friends, and received so much love and care and the good wishes, I will always be grateful for them in my life. These are bonds forged through
years of hard work, beating the heat of differences, blown and empowered by love and trust and moulded the way we want.

Which brings me back to what I wanted to write about. I live a very different life now. Far away from all these people it took me years to add to the treasury in my heart. And in a journey of less than 10 hours, life took them far away from me. Or shall I say, I was taken far away, hardly any contact and expected to start from level zero all over again. I know I chose it, but it's hard.

That's what I miss. Perhaps among the things I miss the most. My people. Whether it's a letter I receive by post even the age of Whatsapp or a quick 15 minute conversation to remind me that I'm strong and I shouldn't let things get to me, I'm wonderful. Or a friend who I speak to after months together and it's as if we last spoke a week back. A simple evening sharing photos of missed ceremonies with the family, and we fall back into the pattern of talking like I'm right there beside them.

As I read somewhere today, I know this holds true, and I love my people for it. "We're not close anymore, but I'm still here. Promise."

An awfully long post after a stressful week and a quiet, almost lonely weekend.

But, I'm still me. Still fighting in my own weird way. Still hanging on.

And I have my people to thank for it. ^_^

Education down the drain. . . Literally!

Let me take you back a few steps on the timeline of your life to the days when you were a kid, an age until you became a teenager and then had the freedom to blame your hormones for everything you did. What was the definition of a "good" or a "bad" girl/boy? For the sake of simplicity, (before I launch into another sexist approach of how 'man' in history in always a 'he', another complaint of a 10-year old me,) let's talk about the concepts of "good boy" and "bad boy" among children.

I remember, how it was so important for me to make sure that I was told I am a "good" girl. Or at least, it was my mission as a child to avoid being called "bad". My parents (to whom I shall be eternally grateful for making me the person I am) had very clear concepts of good and bad defined for me. Let me see how much I can recall:
Good:
1. Be respectful not only to elders but to everyone you know. As a kid, everybody from the watchmen to my father's friend was addressed as "Uncle" out of respect. Believe me, I never felt it was forced.
2. Do well in all that you do. Studying, singing, dancing, whatever it was I did. And when I did well, I was always well rewarded and appreciated.
3. Be clean and hygienic. You can do certain activities in certain places, but never throw things on the streets, amongst others.

Bad:
1. Being whiney and stubborn. I've heard a few - what's the opposite of a compliment - in my time.
2. Breaking any of the "how to be good" rules already explained.

Now, what suddenly brought this up?

I used to be the person who loved kids. I enjoyed playing with them, being strict with them and have them use their simple logic capable of defying so many of my beliefs. But now, at times, I feel like I'd rather be away from them.

An incident that happened yesterday.
I was out with my cousins near home and we happened to see a boy, around 8 years old, very well dressed standing on the footpath. The next thing we noticed about him was that he was peeing. On the street. A busy street which can block your way for 5 whole minutes with shops on all the corners of the junction! It was one of the most disgusting sights on a Friday evening at 9 on a busy road of Navi Mumbai. No parents seemed to be around. After a little debate, we decided to follow the boy to see what we could find. We thought we saw him disappear into a shop, so we checked in. One lady on the counter smiled and said yes, the boy was theirs. Good. My sister spoke to the older lady, the mother, and explained what we witnessed and to take the reins of the child in control, especially regarding this matter. While we looked appropriately shocked at the behaviour, they looked at us incredulously, at first refusing to believe. A natural reaction for a parent, okay. But I did see the transformation in their expression when they realized how serious we were - and the Lady no. 1 was smiling, almost giggling away! The mother: she looked taken aback but did not respond much to what we had to say. And oh, I never explained which shop. A MEDICAL STORE!!!! As to the kid himself, he joyfully acknowledged his (no better word in English) "kartoot" and went off somewhere again!!!?!

What is happening, people? I see kids dominating parents like never before, showing little respect to elders or, for that matter, anyone. Why is a child more "bad" than "good", today? If the "bad" is becoming the new "good", then surely tomorrow the country's civic condition will go from "bad" to "worse" and what then? Who do we blame? If at the age of 8 it's ok for him to pee on public roads, I shudder to think what his concepts of "ok" and "good" are when he grows up.

One more incident that happened in the train.
This lady got up from her coveted seat in a crowded train when the train passed the bridge to throw a bag of plastic outside. A young girl stopped her and requested her not to do so. The lady then asked her how else she could dispose the plastic bag. The girl told her that she would take the plastic bag and throw it in a bin but implored her not to throw the bag over the bridge, as it affected the marine life. The elder lady in question was a "modern" lady with a big phone, trendy salwar suit and shoulder length open hair. I was talking about children. What to do about these people?

The one lesson I can take with me from this experience is that tomorrow I will not hesitate to walk up to a parent or the adult and tell them that them or their children are defiling public property. So should you. If this is the condition of the so called educated middle class, can you imagine the condition of those not priviliged to the knowledge of hygiene and  civic sense? In our limits, let us try to put our education and civic sense to good use and help those who have forgotten for, not just a better country, but for the sake of our own humanity, before it ceases to exist as we have thought of it to be.

Tolerance Injustified

(To the men in our lives who are nice to us:  We are fortunate, and we love you for that. Thank you, for not subjecting us to what we see so many women go through around us. We love you for that.

I’ve written this where the “men” are those who control us because of our faith, are our “leaders” and decide what is good for our society.)

I have kept quiet for so long, but now, I just can’t!

I just read the news about the ban on women from entering the Haji Ali Dargah, because apparently women aren’t allowed to visit graves. And men are, why? If somebody’s body has been buried under the earth for so many years, what sort of a mystically different effect is it going to have on women? (We can't even see or smell what's inside the grave!) Also, does this imply that the men are safe around the graves? There doesn't seem to be any consideration for their well being and hygiene. Poor men!

Having lived in Mumbai for so many years, Haji Ali has always been the place I’ve seen from the road, where during the day I see hundreds of devotees walking in and out of there; by night the place lit up so peacefully, calmly reflecting itself on the ocean. In the movies it has always been a place of peace and worship for those who've lost faith. Remember the beautiful song “Piya Haji Ali”(from Fiza)- which shows the desperation of two women praying for the safety and well being of one man.

As I read somewhere on Twitter today, ideally then, women should not even be allowed to enter the Taj Mahal! So much for the romance it symbolizes. There was one man who built a palace out of marble for the beauty she symbolized for him; then there are these men, who would forever keep a woman trapped in that palace of marble, “worship” her, but never let her out or let her voice be heard or in any form get to have her way against their will.

I remember this other article I had read about the actress Jaya, who was not allowed to enter this particular temple because she fell in the age group of around 12-50. We all know that in Hinduism, women are forbidden from entering temples during those days of the month. But the authorities of this temple have taken it a step further; women are unclean for the entire time the cycle is in their life! Do they know what it is like, to feel the cramps, to deal with your heightened emotional self, to feel it leave your body? And you yourself are a result of that “unclean being’s” pain and effort, weren't you, Mr. Pure? She could have chopped you off the minute you formed the zygote in her womb. But she kept you, and you can’t respect that. THAT is the difference.

We don’t want this, we don’t ask for this. We follow these things faithfully, for we have been taught that the men in our lives are the true figures of authority, who protect us, who take care of us, who earn for us. But what do we observe? Many of them suppress our aspirations, humiliate us with a mere look in their eyes, beat and violate us. That is acceptable, isn’t it? Sadly, it is the women who take it in silently and will one day explode so violently, there will arise more stories of Durga and Kali. You men are at all kinds of wars all the time, terminating so many so dispassionately! Yet we take it in, so that our loved ones are away from harm. THAT is the difference.

And until then, if you want her to fight, to take up arms, to spill innocent blood and suppress people simply because she can, then you’re mistaken. She will not fight. She will tolerate. She will not ask. She will take what is given. She will not demand love, but only want her loved ones to be happy. But if she isn't happy, it will affect everybody she is responsible for, “take care and cook” for. She will silently keep drinking all the poison, so the men and children are safe, and go one day beyond a place from which there is no coming back. THAT is the difference.

But they won’t ever get that, will they? They don’t understand. They won’t even know! They may have IQ and PQ (Power Quotient) but they're far worse at EQ.

Men aren’t capable of treating us as equals; it’s high time we accepted that.

“Khana achha nahi bana - *sounds of beating*”.

What it really means – “Somebody hurt my petty little ego, so I’m going to take it out on you, weak tolerating woman”.

“Chhote kapde pehen ke nikli hai - *girls starts screaming*”.

What it really means – “I’m a man, my desire must be satisfied. Whatever be the means."

“She is impure, she cannot show her faith to God”

What it really means – “I will control the women. I am God”.

I’m falling short of words for the emotions I feel now. These are but a few minor examples. The truth of the daily sufferings in the life of women is something that even when public someday will fail to make a difference in the life of anybody who is like any of the men I've mentioned above.

And I shall go back to reading about these things, feeling bitter about them, yet thanking anybody I can for keeping my loved ones safe and happy.

-A woman.

(I wrote this post on 6th November, but forgot to publish it! Apologies. Please give feedback. Posted after almost a year!)

Touched by Divinity

In a country like ours, where every festival is celebrated in grandeur, where every other lane has a holy praying ground, where we love our country also because we get so many public holidays, one often is faced with this question : Do you believe in God?

There are so many views, so many ideas, so many beliefs, so much tradition that paint a picture before us when we ponder over that question. So much is at stake, when it comes to God. People even fight to prove that their God is better than all others'!

Personally? I'm a student who comes from a family background of people who've dealt with hard core facts in their life. So, it's a little difficult for me to accept, that there is some person sitting on a throne somewhere in the Heavens, waiting to pass judgement. So I do I believe God as we know Him? No.

However, I am a spiritual person. I believe, that as many talents we humans have been blessed with, perhaps there are some that are still beyond our control? Maybe these could be felt by beings we have never heard of, or incapable of even feeling, so let alone understanding.

Let's take this example. A fish, who has live it's entire life in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, has never heard of humans. One day, it's caught in a net. Being a rare species, someone decides to put it in an aquarium and put it on display. What's the life of one fish to us, right?

The fish, though, is shocked beyond comprehension. Could it ever understand how it can feel so safe and secure in such a small area, breathe clearly and get food so regularly? It would feel like it's touched something, perhaps by its own definition, divine?

I feel like that fish, because I feel like I have been touched by something so pure, so inexplicable, but that thought which only brings me joy!

Last evening, I went for a concert, to see Pandit Jasraj-ji live on stage. He sat there, so humbly, surrounded by his students, who could only gaze at him with love and respect. He then started singing. And singing. And singing.

His voice covered three and a half octaves (in the same song, yes!). It flowed like a playful river, sometimes here, sometimes there, doing things I could have never imagined one could do simply with his voice! He sang five beautiful pieces, all equally mesmerising, equally enchanting.

To top it all, I just found out he turned 82 last week.

He ended the concert with a bhajan, such in praise of Lord Krishna. As he sang, I could only helplessly be lost in the beauty of his voice, and the passion with which he sang. I was surprised that Lord Krishna did not make an appearance to bless him. Or perhaps he already has, in so many ways.

Only I know, I felt like something beyond my minds comprehension had touched me. It's a feeling I'll treasure forever!

What is it, that makes these people so dedicated to their work? So much love, so much passion for what they do? I wish I could find something that I would love so much, to practise for more than seventy-eight years of my existence! And I thank everybody responsible, for making me witness something so miraculous.

If ever you are ever so fortunate, do not miss the opportunity to see Pandit-ji sing. His soul, his voice, that friendly banter with his accompanying artists, who seem so accomplished themselves. There is no pressure to concentrate, to keep up. Only let yourself relax, and let that voice take over your mind and soul.

There is something more I would like to say about Pandit-ji. Once when he was singing, and later after he ended the songs, Pandit-ji spoke on the microphone simply to thanks us for being an audience. Everybody does that, yes. But what he said, was incredible, something that hadn't even occurred to me. He said there are a lot of talented people even in Mumbai, which was why we were such good audience. But those little things, throughout, that touched his heart were those places where the audience perfectly applauded.

I'm so proud to be a part of that!

I only hope someday, I, too, can touch something divine and be blessed by it all my life. Or maybe I already have. I may just need to appreciate things more.

I suppose, my father said it the best.

"He looked like an old man when he began singing. But as the evening progressed, I could only see him getting younger and younger."

I guess that's passion.

That's music in its most truthful form. :)

Dig in the Dancing Queen

Now that I'd decided I wanted to blog about music, the next step was to pick what song would feature here first. I love too many songs.

I decided, that with all the festivities and the partying, it's best to begin the January post with a happy song. And the first song that came into my head was none other than Dancing Queen, by the Swedish pop group Abba.

My friend Nimsy first gave me this song, and I did not really pay attention to it back then. By some very good fortune, I convinced myself to watch Mamma Mia (yes, Meryl Streep is gorgeous!) and lo! The song appeared before me as though magic. I suppose I was a little low myself when I was watching the movie, but oh man! Did the song cheer me up! *I'm all smiles again!*

It's been a favourite ever since. :)

Dancing Queen was probably one of the most popular songs of the 70s. It featured on the higher postitions of music charts of over  20 countries, a wide reach for a song made back then! Since then it has been performed by various artists and used in various soundtracks. I know my aunt still has the song as her ringtone!

While looking for more details about this song, I discovered that the demo of this song was called "Boogaloo"! I also found out, that the music video of this song was a tribute to the movie The Breakfast Club (another favourite - I recommend you watch it ASAP if you haven't! Relate to your teenage self again.). That only adds to the beauty of the song for me.

Now, let's come to my perception of this song.

The tune is light and catchy. It's easy for me to sing along, or hum it to myself. It flows easily. The rhythm is perfect for me to tap my feet to, as I slowly cheer up. The best part is, the song has been sung by them so beautifully! 

The lyrics are what make the song so special. It begins with belief, moves on to optimism, then takes a lightly teasing note. That's the right recipe for a good song like this and the lyrics are just the best.

I love it, when they sing - 'You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only 17!' or 'You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life'. I believe in it myself, when they sing it with so much convection. :)

The song made a thorough impact on me, and I hope this song continues to make me feel beautiful and special!

An era, an idea, a song. With love for oneself, and a simple message - beauty is truly found within us, exuding out of it, this song will remain a favourite for many, including me.

I do not know, if a pop group like Abba, or a song like this can ever be created again. But wherever they are, I'd like to thank them for this song. They must know, that their songs can brighten up days of millions of people across the world!

You can view the song here :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REElUors1pQ

Stay Happy! :)

The Change

For anybody who still wishes to read my blog, I apologise for not posting earlier. 7th semester and absence of close people in life led me to be a very sad person. But I'm gonna take a positive step and try to improve there. :)

Hence, my 'New Year Resolution' this time, is not to lose weight (which I need to as of now, but who cares!) or get a makeover or quit a bad habit (that ones is also because I don't have any :P ). This time, I'm gonna make a positive change in my blog.

The world has a lot of things to do. Nobody really has the time to hear somebody go on and on. My blog has become so stagnant, I can't believe I let myself do that! I thought for a while, what should I be blogging about? For months and months this question troubled me.

Then, the silliness of my predicament jumped out of the box. The title 'musicaldews' is something I gave myself, because I believe that music is an inseparable part of my soul and I love it!!

Therefore, I will use this space as a music blog!

As often as I can, a particular song that has stayed with me, or I've recently fallen in love with, will be reviewed. I'll try my best to get all the information I can about it, point out what I feel is special or different or anything at all, and put it up here. If there's anybody who'll enjoy it at all, it would be a pleasure to continue doing so. :)

Thus, springs and autumns and all the other seasons, will come alive here through music over various languages, and hopefully be an enjoyable experience. It may also include little anecdotes and anything else, that I may feel like sharing!

Now, while I think about the songs I'll be reviewing here, you enjoy a fabulous New Year's eve.

Thank you so much, for taking the time to read this. Have a happy and successful New Year ahead.

Lots of love! <3

Should I get Idea?

There are many categories of the "frustrating" sort of people around.

Today, the reason for my wonderful mood, are the Telecom people!!!

Now, I have a very simple, decent phone. Ever since I bought it, I have people laughing at me for using this phone, but I've loved my Crystal like my own little baby. Ok. Except when I've got mad after reading something on it and flung it on the bed, and when I've dropped it by mistake. :P

So. My phone has an awesome feature called 'Dual Sim'. Being in my final year, and having so many friends gone away, I decided to take another sim card, and actually see what it feels like.

In my area, Services 1 and 2 provide the best network. I already had 1. So I decided to go for two.

I walked into the shop. 'Numbers dikhiye'. I selected one.

'Kya documents dene honge?' I had the stuff ready. I gave it.

'Do ghante mein aapka number chalu ho jayega, madam', said the shopkeeper.

Happy at my success, I happily continued with my day. True to his word, I could use the phone within an hour and a half of having bought it.

All was beautiful.

Then it happened. That one phone call.

No, it was not anybody asking me if I wanted a loan.

Neither was it a part-time job offer.

I was asked to confirm my identity by the service provider, and I very proudly told her my full name and my area.

The lady at the other end dropped a bomb on me.

'Madam, yeh number Mr. Devanand Kohli ke naam par hai. Aap apne documents re-submit kijiye, aapke paas ke gallery mein'.

Fuming, I went to the shopkeeper to demand an explanation. He saw a copy of my ID proof and said that it was 'unclear' and that's probably why the mistake happened at the gallery.

The only thing that was 'unclear' was my picture on the photocopy, because my glasses had not been printed properly!

Therefore, in the middle of a rather draining week, I took time to go to the gallery.

That guy said the same thing and said, 'Yeh wala bhi clear nahi hai. Aap dobara documents laiye'.

That was it. I yelled at him. I told him, if the passport office was ok with this, then these people should not have a problem.

He says, 'Sorry ma'am, gallery policy', and ignores me.

In a very Bollywood style - Uski yeh majaal?!

I wanted to ask him if he did not have an idea for my problem. But I don't think he was the 'I-understand-sarcasm-and-hence-I'm-smart' sort of a fellow anyway.

Urgh.

All of it for one sim card?

I even took this well. I got a better proof, and went to the shop. He told me that the gallery is open even on Sundays. (Whew!)

I perked up at that and decided to take a little trip there, and be done with it.

The gallery was (swear word) closed.

Now, I'm even wondering if it was worth all that effort!

Oh Gods of Telecom, I pray out to you. Please employ more intelligent people to do your bidding. Have at least one smart fellow in every shop and gallery?

Ignorance is not always bliss

In our society, when we think about people like ourselves, it is second nature to talk about somebody we dislike without their knowledge. However, it is almost unheard of that someone showed an open display of their hatred in public, in front of the person in question. What really is the better way?

Should one continue to be nice in person, and yet talk negative things about people behind their back? This would mean that the person might have an idea, but cannot really confirm. Is this sort of vagueness better? You give people the freedom to do what they want, and talk about it without their knowledge. In many cases, they might not even know that somebody could feel so strongly about them!

Or is it better to go tell somebody, "Hey, you know what? I really don't like ________ about you. Therefore, don't do this around me." If I were to go and say this to somebody, how would this person take it? The person could be greatly offended, and tell me to stay away. Or the person could actually appreciate it, and take care not to be like that around you. They might hate it initially, but come to appreciate it later, maybe? If they're the sensible sort, that is.

Or, does one completely ignore such a person? Pretend they do not even exist. Never acknowledge them in person, or in your conversations with other people. Could that be the best way to deal with it? I can answer this one, though.

No.

I think a show of love is ultimately what everybody wants. A show of dislike would certainly be unwelcome. But the pain of being ignored is the worst of them all.

Sometimes, with some people, there isn't another way (read guys who trouble girls). But in almost all other cases, even an acknowledgement is welcome, as opposed to being ignored.

This could be somebody on the street, asking for money. I think saying "aage jaao" is better than ignoring them.

This could be somebody at home, a relative of some sort you don't like. Even if you don't like them, never completely ignore them either.

This could be somebody at work, who's not very good socially or has strange manners. Leave it only at acknowledgment, but at least that much.

This could be somebody even you might know very well, but things may not be going very well with them.

Spread love, joy and peace where you go, so you may hope you find the same.

I don't even know why I wrote all this, but I just felt like writing about this. So. :)

On that very dramatic note (:P), here's wishing the few, very nice followers, of this blog, and the world at large, a very safe and joyous Diwali!

May the stars always shine on you. :)

The Temporary Phases

Last week, I was taking a walk, when I came across a nice, plump cat. I couldn't resist myself of course, and began cuddling it and playing with it. I walked holding it close to me for a while, and then it followed me on it's own. It felt so nice, to see people shoot envious looks at me for having befriended the cat. But it seemed so natural, so easy!

As we both sat beside each other and looked at the world, I realised it would begin raining soon. So I decided to take the cat to a sheltered place. We know cats hate water! Before I got very far, light droplets fell upon us, so I took shelter to contemplate over what I should do with the little being. That was my mistake.

A lady, standing with her 5-year old, decided that this was the perfect time to make conversation. She talked about mundane things and delayed me so much, the poor little cat jumped from my hand to seek comfort in the bushes. It had been pouring by then. I could not find the cat again. Drenched comepletely, I walked back home along empty streets, feeling helpless and lost.

Why did I have to go play with that cat in the first place? If I did, why did I allow it to follow me? Why did I want to see to it's safety? I mean, I'd known the cat for twenty-odd minutes!

And if I cared about it so much, why did I let that lady waste my time? Why didn't I just stick to what I had to do?

I hate it, when things in life aren't permanent. I hate it that people can bring fun and love in your life, and when you're almost getting used to them, they leave you and go away. Sometimes with a warning, sometimes not even that.

"Be strong", they tell me. Yeah, right!

And if you, by some stroke of luck realise that you're being too emotional and you should get a grip on yourself, people say that you've suddenly become cold or detached.

That, is still restricted to other people. It can be ignored.

But how do I tell myself, that the cat was safe? I could not meet it again.

How do I know all those people who have gone away will be fine?

Emotions are too much, at times.

At times, I wish I was a simpler being. Wouldn't overthink so much!

Illusioned

That night, I saw a dream.

It pierced my soul like a shrill scream.

I was jerked awake to see the reality,

By the rivers that flowed from my eyes.

It had all started beautifully.

It had all started still.

As I had enjoyed peace and love.

I found myself back home then,

As someone seemed to call.

An old lady she was.

I want to come in, she said.

But each time I tried to let her in,

She seemed to disappear.

A triumph it was for her,

When she entered through the window.

She smiled sweetly at me,

Which instilled in me a fear unknown.

She walked toward me.

I was hysterical now.

I searched around, a blade I got.

In case, I thought to myself, I needed a weapon.

She was now almost touching me,

Her eyes full of evil mirth.

Trembling, I stabbed her thrice.

Expecting her to fall,

I prepared myself to face a lifeless body.

Yet she stood standing there,

Eyes full of that mirth.

I staggered, I ran.

I called out to people, but the world seemed empty.

Until I saw the ghost of my forefather,

Who had come to protect me from this evil unspoken.

He was sacrificing his soul, to save mine.

My eyes opened, as I was breathing heavily.

An illusion all this was, it seemed.

A game a child was playing far away, unaware,

Who had created an image, a shadow of mine, weary with time.

But as I looked back and recalled that haunting smile,

The rivers continued to flow.

(I don't know if this counts as poetry. I don't think it is.

I wrote this at 4.30am as I couldn't sleep!)

The Return to Innocence

Ah, the age old dilemma. "What should I write about today?"

Let's begin with one of the crazy adventures I have in my life - me.

Being in my head for 15 minutes is equivalent to being in a mental amusement park, with all those freaky rides, for a full day! Plus, a project day (yes, I'm in my final year now! *proud*) sitting in front of a PCB, waiting for Copper to come off the board is equivalent to the scariest roller coaster around, within my head, that is.

Of course, when things do not go as expected, it's like lighting a match near a curtain and have the whole house burning.

So, to calm my livid self down, I decided to take a long walk, without my earphones!

And how I felt after that?

Amazing! I went to this park, that had a playground and a walking track. Deeply absorbed in my thoughts, I was brought back to reality by three little girls wearing those shoes. The ones that make sounds as they walk? They looked so excited to be there! To sit on the swing, enviously looking at the older kids climbing on the slides by themselves.

There was a group of elderly gentlemen, sitting, talking and laughing. From what bits I caught, I think they were very spiritual people. In the midst of nature, discussing their lives, meeting friends, they looked so happy.

Of course, we had very distressed looking housewives furiously walking along the track, body builders pushing people around so they could jog, teenage boys doing funny antics on the grass to catch girls' attention. All of it was so entertaining! It was only as I sat down after a long time, sat for a long time, pushed myself to finally get up from there (I felt so much at peace, I never wanted to leave!) and walked home, I realised what I felt.

We in our fast paced lives, have lost our innocence.

Don't get me wrong, I do not mean to say we all behave like a five year old would. I mean to imply that we have lost the innocence in our approach to life. As kids, we wouldn't worry about what was right, what was the correct way for something to be done. We would go ahead, and do what we felt was right. Surely, as grown-ups, we can apply the same principles, and yet have a fresh approach to all that seems problematic to us?

I do not promise, that I can always take this approach. That I will not worry, I will not over-stress, I will be indifferent. I promise none of these.

Yet, someday, if I look back at life and see this moment, it might just help me calm down or help the situation then.

Anyway, this post, these feelings lead to this playing in my head right now. Enjoy away! :)

Return to Innocence - Enigma

There are times, when you wish random people around you would shut the hell up about their petty problems. Out on the roads, whilst travelling; the only thing on your mind? "Who the hell invented mobile phones?!"

Then, there are times, when you wish that people close to you would talk to you more, give you more of their attention, give you more time. But as logical, as natural a thing that may seem to be, it's apparently not what's happening. I'd like to quote a song here, told to me by one of my good friends - What hurts the most, is being so close, having so much to say, and watching you walk away..

There are times, when you wish random people around you would shut the hell up about their petty problems. Out on the roads, whilst travelling; the only thing on your mind? "Who the hell invented mobile phones?!"

Then, there are times, when you wish that people close to you would talk to you more, give you more of their attention, give you more time. But as logical, as natural a thing that may seem to be, it's apparently not what's happening. I'd like to quote a song here, told to me by one of my good friends - What hurts the most, is being so close, and watching you walk away..

Harry Potter - A Grand Finale

Today was the day. Today was the day I was going to see the last movie of the Harry Potter series. I woke up, over excited about it. I even dreamt of parts of the story in my head. Obsessed? Always!

I had thrown a tantrum at home (sorry, Dad.) for booking the tickets as soon as I could. After a bit of research, I finally decided on a cinema hall nearby, but only I knew I'd be seeing it royally. The first day seemed to have gone well. Most people I knew had seen it, and I had got positive reviews from whoever (fans at least half as crazy about the series as me) told me about it. That was a first for the movies!

I walked into the cinema hall, terribly impatient for the doors to open.

When they did, I first went to the seats. A surprise for Dad and my sister, for they had not expected those seats. Armchairs, with a wonderful place to rest legs and recline our backs. Oh boy, were they happy! :)

The movie began, and the occasional latecomers blocking our view (I learnt that my sister can swear.) was cursed heavily by two innocent looking girls sitting on the last row. After those people (finally) settled, the only sounds heard in the hall were people breathing, and an occasional SMS tone.

The Interval. My sister looks at my watch and says - What? Already?!

What a second half! People laughing, hooting, feeling emotional. The many people shocked to discover the Prince's tale, and the fantastic picturesqueness of the duel, and the ending with the entire audience applauding and whistling, to a grand finale to what had captured our minds and hearts ten years ago.

My experience? It was wonderful.

I saw the movie with the people I love, who'd ask me for little clarifications. Royal seats, a tub of popcorn and some cola to sip on. Moments in the movie reminded me of other friends, with whom I'd discussed and shared my love for the series.

My summary? A few lines.

Harry Potter may have been the "hero". Daniel Radcliffe and Ralph Fiennes may have played the historical characters. But the true show for me, was stolen by Alan Rickman (Severus Snape) and Maggie Smith (Prof. McGonagall), who, with their brilliant timing and depth to the characters, completely had my eyes looking only at them on the screen.

If you haven't seen it yet, make sure you do. Because we know, love him, or hate him, nobody has been able to ignore the poplarity of Harry Potter, and he has affected you. Bid him farewell and look for something else to (finally) obsess over. :)

Three Minutes

I stepped out a while back, to get myself something to eat. As I walked along the road, to the near by shop, I was only thinking about what I was gonna get. As I finally bought it, the events of a long day were playing like a movie in my head.

But as I started walking towards home, I opened my eyes and my thoughts to the world outside, and I realised - what I think, or what I feel, doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

A nearby school had just left, a little kid came by, and asked the fellow at the shop, "Uncle, yeh vada pav kitne ka hai?" The guy said that it costed seven bucks, and the child quietly walked away. It was so unnerving, so touching and the same time a little sad. Ever thought that it costed 7 bucks, and probably more elsewhere, before buying a vada pav?

A big crowd of ladies had gathered, discussing recipes and husbands, as they waited for their children's school buses. All of them worried over what they were going to cook for dinner, and how they felt less loved by their families, but never letting that show on their faces. It had been a while since I had seen that.

I continued walking back, and the mouth-watering smell of warm sweet corn being roasted on the coal wafted out. People of all ages enjoyed bhutta in this weather.

A lady walking beside me was scolding what looked like an 8 year old kid, about losing his water bottle, and yet, carrying his heavy school bag on her shoulder, as he looked down guiltily.

Auto drivers and two-wheeler riders cursed in their heads, as the chattering pedestrians blocked more than half the road.

In the midst of all this, a girl - going to get junk food to feel better, simply because she wanted to get over being alone, and was terribly missing her parents - walks home quietly, lost in her thoughts, just wanting to sleep.

Sometimes, I just wish I had a magic wand, if only it served one purpose - to change my mood.

I promise, I wouldn't misuse it. I would use it only when the situation demanded that I feel in a particular way, and I felt the exact opposite.

All you want to be is happy, but you can never bring yourself to do that. How often does this happen?

Or conversely - You know the situation is serious, or requires that you be sober, but you can absolutely not help giggling away?

There is a strange sense of detachment, a strange sense of alone-ness, which isn't necessarily a bad thing.

But, when I'm around people, I want to be alone. When I'm alone, I really feel the need to have somebody around me.

Well, we all pray to God, that this mood goes away enough for me to write a cheerful post the next time.

Till then, enjoy the beautiful rains and the cool weather. :)