There are some things you crave for all your life, and sometimes, when you finally have them, they seem to disappoint; if only at times. All the wonderful threads weaving dreams but making us forget the little flaws, those little imperfections which are a law of nature, which also, unknowingly, unwantingly, weave themselves between these strands of almost perfection.
Every one says they want to go abroad, study abroad, work abroad, fulfill dreams otherwise restricted by their own culture, experience another culture, life their life growing away from loved ones, learn the hard lessons in life... I know, because I've said these words myself. And, with all the good luck that the Universe has bestowed on me, I got the opportunity to live my dream.
But you know what they don't tell you? How difficult it is going to be. You have to look out for yourself. You have to stand up for yourself. You have to deal with all these other people who don't understand your ways. You have to deal with a very "real world", the big bad-ass world we've been warned about since we were too young to know what the world could even mean.
You meet new people, you meet lovely, interesting people. People with whom you have so much in common, it's absurd that you weren't born in the same family, forget another country. People you bond with otherwise, because of your circumstances and grow to love and respect them even with all their differences. But yes, you meet people who cheat you, betray you, trick you, use you. I guess, human nature, in that sense, is pretty much consistent all over.
Then why, is it that we connect with some people and choose to ensure that they know we love them and trust them way more than all others? Where you are connected not just by blood, or family ties, or circumstances, but where you choose to seek out these people outside the usual connecting boundaries, to connect in ways which are something more than what we can even begin to describe. I think I have met some wonderful people on the journey of my life - my family and my friends, and received so much love and care and the good wishes, I will always be grateful for them in my life. These are bonds forged through
years of hard work, beating the heat of differences, blown and empowered by love and trust and moulded the way we want.
Which brings me back to what I wanted to write about. I live a very different life now. Far away from all these people it took me years to add to the treasury in my heart. And in a journey of less than 10 hours, life took them far away from me. Or shall I say, I was taken far away, hardly any contact and expected to start from level zero all over again. I know I chose it, but it's hard.
That's what I miss. Perhaps among the things I miss the most. My people. Whether it's a letter I receive by post even the age of Whatsapp or a quick 15 minute conversation to remind me that I'm strong and I shouldn't let things get to me, I'm wonderful. Or a friend who I speak to after months together and it's as if we last spoke a week back. A simple evening sharing photos of missed ceremonies with the family, and we fall back into the pattern of talking like I'm right there beside them.
As I read somewhere today, I know this holds true, and I love my people for it. "We're not close anymore, but I'm still here. Promise."
An awfully long post after a stressful week and a quiet, almost lonely weekend.
But, I'm still me. Still fighting in my own weird way. Still hanging on.
And I have my people to thank for it. ^_^
